(Because Ten Is Way Too Many Right Now)
If you Google it, you’ll find no shortage of “Top 5,” “Top 10,” or even “Top 27 Tips to Stay Sober This Christmas.”
That’s great. Truly.
But here’s the thing I learned early on, and I suspect some of you already know it too:
A newly sober brain, or at least mine at the time, cannot handle that much information at once.
Too many tips start to feel like pressure. Pressure turns into overwhelm. Overwhelm turns into, “You know what would make this easier…”
So instead of ten, I’m keeping it simple.
Two tips. That’s it.
1) Don’t Drink
Yes, it sounds obvious.
And no, it’s not always easy.
Christmas is basically a season-long drinking event disguised as tinsel. Family gatherings, office parties, neighbourhood drop-ins, the casual “Can I top that up for you?” that comes out of nowhere.
A few practical things that helped me:
- Have a decoy drink. Cranberry and soda works. Plain eggnog works. Sparkling water with a lime looks festive enough to avoid follow-up questions.
- Put your glass upside down when you’re done with it so no one refills it “helpfully.”
- Use the universal signal. A hand gently over the glass usually does the trick without a speech.
- Cravings get loud? Suck on a hard candy. It sounds almost too simple, which is why it works. It gives your mouth and nervous system something else to do.
And if the urge still feels big, break time down into absurdly small pieces.
- “I won’t drink while the turkey is cooking.”
- “I won’t drink while It’s a Wonderful Life is on.”
- “I won’t drink while Bing Crosby sings White Christmas.”
You don’t have to not drink forever.
You just have to not drink for this song, this movie, this moment.
Also, a gentle reminder: this is not the same thing as the two-second rule for food. Nothing good comes from picking something up off the floor of your emotional life and consuming it.
Humour helps. Use it.
2) Get to a Meeting (or a Sober Gathering)
Many 12-step intergroups run holiday meetings, dinners, or get-togethers. Go to one. Volunteer at one. Show up even if you don’t feel especially festive.
My first sober Christmas, a few of us went to the Regent Park Christmas Dinner. We served people who had far less than we did. Later, we went back to one of the guys’ places, and his mom made us Christmas dinner.
It wasn’t fancy.
It wasn’t perfect.
But it was sober, warm, and real.
That day taught me something important:
You don’t just avoid old traditions in early sobriety.
You build new ones.
Making new, happy, sober memories with sober friends matters. It gives your brain evidence that joy is still available, even without a drink in your hand. This will be my 40th sober Christmas. I didn’t plan it that way. I just kept choosing not to drink, one year at a time.
If this is your first sober Christmas, please hear this part clearly:
You do not have to do it beautifully.
You do not have to feel grateful.
You do not have to love every moment.
You just have to get through it sober.
Two tips.
That’s enough for now.
And if no one’s said it to you yet: I’m really glad you’re here.
